The Post about the Week of Flirting Dangerously

Disclaimer:
We promise no guest appearances by either Mel Gibson, Sigourney Weaver and especially not by Linda Hunt. Linda Hunt is too short to appear in our postings, and we already have gnome problems.

It is no secret – well, it was a secret but it will not be a secret after everyone reads this fulgid two-alarm entry on the matter – although, before we continue, frankly, “secret” is not the right word: it is not that we were being “secretive” or “sneaky” or “snarky” or “winsome,” it’s just that no one bothered to ask us anything about that which we were not speaking because no one was asking us about it which is why we weren’t speaking about it in the first place –
where were we?
Right, the hidden closet in the PBJ room.
Ha-ha, not that sort of closet, you kidders, you…you…all.
Seriously, it is no secret (see above for explanation) that we here in the PBJ room are strong believers in the power of flirting. Pretty much exclusively with each other.

We know what you’re saying. M, you’re saying, and M, you’re also saying, aren’t you two a bit old for belief in the power of the flirt, you’re saying after you say M, and M.
It’s funny (and convenient, as this leads almost directly to our answer) that you should ask (in such a completely unplanned but convenient manner).

This has very little to do, by the way, with the ministrations and administrative concerns we have dealt with, nay, endured, this week. Let’s start with last week, shall we?
(Let’s!)

It is our thought – here in the PBJ room that if you say you are going to be somewhere at, for instance, 3:30 p.m. and people (us, for example) are going to rearrange the busy, hectic and fulfilling lives to meet you at the fore-mentioned time, 3:30 p.m., for instance, then 1) you should not arrive at, for instance, 1:30 p.m. and 2) should you arrive at, for instance, 1:30 p.m. you should do your darnedest to keep your mouth shut and stay outside until the appointed time (3:30 p.m. in case you missed it) arrives. Neither should you, should you arrive two full hours early for your appointment, act as though you are the aggrieved party because you have been inconvenienced by the appointment-time party actually showing an active interest in keeping their appointment but keeping it at the appointed time.*
This is actually just one of our thoughts.
On the other hand, it is our thought that if your appointment (to carry on with this theme (but in a shorter manner, hopefully)) is on, for instance, Friday you should not show up on, let’s say, Monday and act as though nothing at all out of the ordinary has occurred. Unless you are willfully choosing to leave the impression that running three days late for appointments is normal course of business for you and perhaps your establishment.

But enough about our timely endurances.

Because it occurs to us how close the word appointment is to the word anointment. We are sure that this is co-inkydink and not a nefarious plot on the part of Latin Grammarians who still believe that the empire shall still rise anew in Caesar’s shadow.
(This is perhaps a separate story involving database administrators and online ferrets posing as salesman – as I said, perhaps a separate story.)
Here is what we have anointed so far this week (in no particular order at all):
• us (yes, very excitedly we might add, we were anointed – see list of ointments below)
• aspercreme (or somesuch, as we do not have permission to use their actual name)
• bio-freeze
• absorbine sr. and jr. (senior seemed to get a bigger kick than junior did, by the way, for those of us at home keeping score)
• Pico Daisy & Gallo
• 4 ant-mounds
• some moose munch (or somesuch, see above regarding naming rights and how uppity Harry & David’s can be about their trademarks)
• 2 pair of new shoes, one polka-dot and one not

This is so like you, dear readers: here we are with potentially night-antic causing upper shoulder and lower neck strain (see above for list of anointing ointments applied) and all you are concerned about are the polka-dot shoes.

They’re so cuuuuuuuttte!!!!!
And they’re low-top Chuck Taylor’s so you know they rock mightily. They have opened our eyes to a whole new color scheme, so deco yet so now, so hip yet so hop.

Which has little if nothing to do with our secret, by the way.
In fact, it very basically occurs to us as we come here to a close, that some things are not asked about or spoken about because sometimes everyone just knows and to enunciate would be overkill.

But we’ve this to say: anointments can be fun. And we recommend it heartily. To recommend more would be to give away another secret we are harboring for the gifting of the mommsies on All Moms Day, but we’ll say this: it purrs, whirrs and presses the stress right out of your life for a while, it can be (and was designed to be) used alone but your partner of choice can also get in on the fun for an evening of frolic and festivity. And it’s not battery operated.

So it goes.