Barbie® has been very P-O’d
at G.I.Joe® lately, mainly because
he keeps trying to blow her
up; not all of her, exactly or actually, but for
no good reason, appropriately enough, just her head
and all the empty stuff inside and the polyethylene
Cali-blonde coif outside, or the suburbia red,
or the derring-do brunette, worth twenty-nine cents.
What Barbie® wants to know is
what does Hasbro, with their 12-inch
men with life-like hair – as though
all of life and its like is wiry,
stiff and unmanageable (unlike the you-can-really-comb-it™
blonde with its really life-like Made in
China™ proudly displayed on the nape) –
have against Mattel with their tennis-playing Kens,
whose blonde hair rarely remembers
the unfortunate swinger years of ’75-77,
when moustaches and turtlenecks defined
the man and brown was still the new
brown.
Ken and Barbie® are perfect
together, and today’s editions come
with accessories: messenger bags
and laptops that really open!, and Barbie®
can accessorize bandwidth like it’s
nobody’s business. Why Hasbro
doesn’t go after Revell is beyond Barbie:
Revell’s models aren’t so realistic, she thinks,
if you blow them
up, you can always glue them back
together again. What’s perfection
anyway but an aesthetic unreachable, some
high moral fling of poo and more poo,
with the safety net of no
right answer. Like some elethreal gas
still undefined by the guardians
of the scientific moral bind
that says that the dark matter
of the universe that we
can’t see is actually God as we
don’t know Him and He’s changing
before we define Him.
Or Her.
Heady thoughts for an airhead.
Especially one who’d rather find a boy
scout to call her own: give her a boy
with a stick and two rocks
instead of a man with a flame-
thrower any day. It’s merit
badges she’s after, not hearts
purple or otherwise,
and her pull to the innocence
and dread of the experience
comes with a tip of the slight
of the hand.
Abracadabra!
Ancient poesy calls or calms
the creeps, and though Orpheus
may be sated, anon,
Persephone still howls
at her doom.
All G.I.Joe® wants is another
BOOM!
another instance
of character-setting-plot.
Barbie® eats steak at night,
dreaming of lamb,
dreaming of verb before object
all pillow long. Except,
when not.
© 2012 – Mark A. Douglas – All rights reserved
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